Just random 8.21.9
August 21, 2009
Tears of the sun - NEWS [English translation]
A brief dream that rocks me to sleep on nights when I can’t sleep
What I hear is probably the sound of the rain
All I’m doing is chasing after endless dreams?
But that won’t comfort me at all
If I want something to happen between us
I have to run off from here right now
Without taking an umbrella, I go to where you are
The dazzling sun, somewhere up in the sky
Hiding itself, searching for a heart that won’t burn out
As we burn along on the ground
I had kept waiting for the burning sun to come out
Ah… the rain still won’t stop
Tears of the sun
The hands on the clock seem to stop, I gaze at them with sleepy eyes
What I hear is probably the sound of the rain
Will I continue to just keep waiting here?
But that won’t change a thing
For me to be what I want to be,
I have to race out of this waiting right now
I dump my umbrella and go to where you are
The dazzling sun, everything in this world
I can’t wait to find it all and burn it into my mind
On the ground we act like we haven’t noticed
We had been hiding our frank desires
Ah… the rain keeps falling
Tears of the sun
The dazzling sun, somewhere up in the sky
Hiding itself, searching for a heart that won’t burn out
As we burn along on the ground
I had kept waiting for the burning sun to come out
Ah… the rain still won’t stop
Tears of the sun
Taiyou no namida - NEWS [Romaji]
Taiyou no namida
Nemurenu yoru nekaeri wo utsu tsukanoma no yume wo mite ita
Kikoete kuru nowa tabun ame no oto
Kono mama hatasenai yume ou dake?
Sore ja nanimo iyasenai yo
Nani ga futari okoshitai no nara
Ima sugu koko wo tobidashite yuke
Kasa mo motazu kimi no iru basho ni
Giragira taiyou kono sora dokoka de
Mi wo hisome sagashiteru moekirenai haato wo
Chijou de bokura jirijiri shinagara
Moeagaru hi ga kuru no machi tsuzukete ita
Ah… mada yamanai ame
Taiyou no namida
Tomarisou na tokei no hari neboke ma de koko mitsumete iru
Kikoete kuru nowa tabun ame no oto
Kono mama koko de machi tsuzukeru no kai
Sore ja nanimo kawaranai yo
Boku ga boku jishin ni naru tame ni
Ima sugu kono machi tobidashite yukou
Kasa wo sutete kimi no iru basho e
Giragira taiyou kono yo no subete wo
Sagashidashi yakitsukuse to machikamaete iru
Chijou de bokura kizukanu furishite
Mukidashi no yokubou wo kakusou to shiteta
Ah… furi tsuzuku ame
Taiyou no namida
Giragira taiyou kono sora dokoka de
Mi wo hisome sagashiteru moekirenai haato wo
Chijou de bokura jirijiri shinagara
Moeagaru hi ga kuru no machi tsuzukete ita
Ah… mada yamanai ame
Taiyou no namida
太陽のナミダ - NEWS [Japanese]
太陽のナミダ
眠れぬ夜寝返りをうつ つかの間の夢を見ていた
聞こえて来るのは多分雨の音
このまま果たせない夢追うだけ?
それじゃ何も癒せないよ
何が二人起こしたいのなら
今すぐここを飛び出してゆけ
傘も持たず君のいる場所に
ギラギラ太陽 この空どこかで
身を潜め探してる燃え切れないハートを
地上で僕ら じりじりしながら
燃え上がる日が来るの待ち続けていた
Ａｈ…まだ止まない雨
太陽のナミダ
止まりそうな時計の針寝ぼけ眼で見つめている
聞こえてくるのは多分雨の音
このままここで待ち続けるのかい
それじゃ何も変わらないよ
僕が僕自身になるために
今すぐこの街飛び出してゆこう
傘を捨てて君のいる場所へ
ギラギラ太陽 この世のすべてを
探し出し焼き尽くせと待ちかまえている
地上で僕ら気づかぬふりして
剥き出しの欲望を隠そうとしていた
Ａｈ…降り続く雨
太陽のナミダ
ギラギラ太陽 この空どこかで
身を潜め探してる燃え切れないハートを
地上で僕ら じりじりしながら
燃え上がる日が来るの待ち続けていた
Ａｈ…まだ止まない雨
太陽のナミダ
*****
I wasn’t able to post for the past few days because of the intermittent internet connection at my favorite PC rental. I have become loyal to this PC rental shop that I didn’t even try other ones. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway as the problem seems to be nationwide. There was some trouble involving an international cable that drastically reduced internet speeds. I’m impatient and I don’t want to put up with a slow connection if I can help it. Well… it seems that I can’t.
I don’t want to admit it until now, but I have become so technologically dependent that it is difficult for me to function without a PC, and at least every four days, satisfactory internet connection. Of course, I don’t see myself killing myself come internet Armageddon, but I would feel very lost. Truly the internet connects with me to other people; technology bridges the distance, and even if digitally, brings me to people and people to me.
I’m sorry to the people who make a great effort typing my blog’s address on their browser’s address bar or clicking several times to get to my site and find out nothing new. I have so much to do that I don’t have the time and will to update it. I guess we can’t really make definite statements as long as there are risks and “unforeseen circumstances” in the world. It was my fault.
*****
Speaking of internet, the internet connection at the UPM is so deplorable. The OPAC is inaccessible in the CAS library at times. I pity one of the librarians (the only one who talks to me at length) because she has to switch to manual recoding every time the system goes down. Returned books are eating most of the space in the library counters because they cannot be placed back to their shelves until they have been recorded in the system. And all of this because of rats who found the internet cables appetizing. Last time, NAWASA had the money to repair the damages they caused. But now, you can’t sue and ask compensation from rats, which aren’t much different from the UPM, finances-wise.
The only good thing that happened at the CAS library this past week is that the Journals Section has become more accessible. Its door is always open and there are many people reading or chatting inside. I’m just beginning to explore what the Journals Section has; I have never been there before.
I hope they have some copies of the Journal of Asian Studies there. I’m going to really insist on photocopying interesting articles! And, by the way, this coming September, I’ll be going to the Asian Center (Romulo Hall) in UP Diliman. Nothing… I just want to experience how is it to be student there (though I know it will be yers before I get the chance, if ever.)
*****
Partner, the Korean drama series I have been watching on the net for over a month, ended last week. It’s not as good as I expected or wanted it to be, picture- or story-wise. But I’ll watch any show with Lee Dong-Wook, so no regrets. I learned a lot, if not how Korean courts function, then at least, a glimpse of the intricacies of the legal profession.
*****
The clause “Smoking is bad for your health” which is legislated to accompany any tobacco or cigarette advertisement is one of the subtler twisting of public welfare for the sake of capital and token consideration of influential health activists. Placing and enforcing restrictions on the tobacco industry is more effective in making the people healthy than telling them not to smoke or that smoking is risky. It is very individualist, behaviorist and results to victim blaming, which may be disadvantageous for the individual. The word “your” also restricts the effect of one’s smoke to oneself when, in fact, the effect of smoking is worse on people who inhale the secondhand smoke. It makes us less concerned of smoking’s effect on other people and society itself by focusing just on the ill effects it has for the smoking individual.
*****
I have always valued my uniqueness, and though I may try to hide it, I enjoy treading the path that most people avoid. This is the path I have chosen, the person I want to be, the purpose of my existence, the niche where my abilities and aptitude fit nicely. So don’t go try reforming me with an authority as if you were God, my parent or my superego. I am not a child you can convince by appealing to insecurity. Actions are not thoughts; you are not omnipresent beings who can read my mind. Don’t wallow in self-righteousness and the assumption that everything is Boolean. You can ponder but not pussyfoot, you can hit hard and say bad words in public, but not use words in vain. Knowledge is not an end to itself nor just a tool for change – knowledge and change are both tools for understanding ourselves and providing the greatest happiness for the greatest number. Don’t make me lose respect for your persons and what you stand for (or tell people you do). Persecution hardens one’s resolve. Tolerate differences and use them to strengthen yourself, not find strength in monotony. The world is a rainbow of millions of colors and can never be reduced to shades of red.
I will not allow myself to be crushed to powder and become a glitter in your transient edifice. I’ll fight on for myself, I’ll fight for the ME I want people to know and believe in.
*****
“Just because you can means you should.”
- Prof. Carillo on late pregnancies
